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A Simple Smile

A Simple Smile

Since 1999, the first Friday in October has been designated as “World Smile Day.”  It was promoted by a man named Harvey Ball – the creator of the original yellow smiley face in 1963.  Harvey did not push the day to further commercialize his smiley faces, but rather to remind people of the importance of a real and genuine smile.

This world needs more smiles.  For that matter, the people in your world need more smiles!  In fact, I would be glad to be on the receiving end of a few more smiles myself.

It seems that smiles are becoming a bit rarer these days.  Of course, there’s so many troubling “situations” in our society and our world.  Not to mention day-to-day distractions, personal stress, anxiety, frustration, and general weariness.

Consequently, we probably don’t feel like smiling as often as we might.  But as someone once said, “You haven’t lost your smile at all.  It’s right under your nose.  You just forgot it was there!”

Putting on a smile is perhaps the most important thing we don in the morning, and the most important thing we wear.  Yet, it’s often the accoutrement that doesn’t make our attire for the day.  Or at least not as often as it could or should.  To which Jim Beggs states, “Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” 

Did you that studies have shown that smiling is actually beneficial to one’s health?  Smiles reduce blood pressure and heart rate, ease stress and promote happiness.  Some studies seem to suggest that frequent smiles actually foster longer lives; those who smile more often tend to have more positive views, which tends to lead to longer life-spans.  Astonishingly, people wearing smiles appear younger and thinner!

Even if you can only muster a partial smile … smile anyway!  Even a half-hearted smile brings some of the benefits.  And it might just lead to a full-fledged, whole-hearted, all-encompassing one. 

All of which provides strong inducement to smile frequently.  The personal benefits seem great. 

But those on the receiving end of our smiles also benefit!  When we smile, they are more likely to smile.  When they do, they glean the good bonuses too.  But so much more as well.

A simple and sincere smile costs a person nothing to give, but pours a wealth of treasure into another person’s day.  The person who provides it is none-the-poorer, while the person who receives that gift is certainly richer.

And think of all the family members around you; those ones we so easily and often take for granted.  (You know, those most important people in your world!)  That smile you grace them with in the moment will almost certainly contribute to a brighter, better day for them.  A smile is the key that fits the lock on everyone’s heart.

To this end, here are some key concepts for us to bear in mind as we work our way through our days – even our difficult days; things that will help us smile more readily.

The first key is that we focus on our blessings and not our hardships.  We may have many difficulties, but we have even more blessings from our God.  No matter what struggles we are enduring, Jesus is still risen, we are still forgiven, we are still loved by God, we are still saved by God’s grace, and we are still headed to heaven.

Key number two is that we realize we have a gift we can give.  A simple loving smile is simply precious to whomever it is aimed at.

The third key is to recognize that maybe, just maybe, our smile and our kindness might be a silent testimony to other Christians who are down and don’t really feel like smiling.  They realize we are still rejoicing in our Lord, no matter the circumstances.  Smiling is contagious; maybe our smile will spark a smile on their face.

In addition, our smile might possibly be something that moves an unbeliever to find out what makes us tick.  Why can we smile when so much of life seems to stink?  Perhaps it opens the door to an opportunity to testify about the Savior?

Finally, smiles show love.  Jesus said, “Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

The Lord underscores this concept in the book of Ephesians: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger … Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-22).

Simply showing and sharing a smile is generally a simple thing to do, but it’s not simple to the one who sees it; that smile is significant!  So smile, and brighten someone’s day.  And probably, in the process, your day too!

If you missed celebrating World Smile Day this year with an extra smile or two, please don’t feel obligated to wait until next October.  Display a few extra smiles today.  (And every day!)

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Indiscriminately Kind

Indiscriminately Kind

In the past, I’ve referred to him as “Wavy.”  I should have called him “Davy.”  Or maybe best of all – “Wavy Davy.”

Technically, he told me his name is David.  (A fine name, by the way!)  I’m not sure if he would approve of using Davy instead.  Almost certainly he wouldn’t want to be called “Wavy Davy.”

But that name describes him wonderfully!

I’d see him peddling his 3-wheeled bike toward us on our street, and I’d tell anyone with me, “Get ready to wave.  Here comes Wavy.”  And sure enough.  Without fail, he would wave to us as we passed each other.

I don’t know David’s story.  I do know that he rides his bike around our extended neighborhood almost non-stop.  I’ve waved back to him at all times of day … and even after dark!  Nor is he deterred by the weather.  Once when my wife and I were out for a walk and got surprised by a rainstorm, David rode by and stated, “A little rain won’t hurt us, will it?”  We were in a hurry to get to cover; he wasn’t.  He simply continued merrily on his way.

I can’t even imagine how many miles he’s peddled through the years.  Though he must log an incredible amount of distance every day, he doesn’t need much for his travels.  There’s a basket mounted behind his seat and between the two back wheels.  In it he carries a water bottle, a plastic bag (for snacks, I presume), and sometimes a little tan dog.

It’s difficult to gauge his age.  Perhaps he’s in his thirties.  What is clear is that David doesn’t look at life like most people.  Whether he was born that way or is the victim of an accident somewhere along the way isn’t important.  What is important is that David is indiscriminately kind. 

He doesn’t care what kind of vehicle you are driving – 4-wheeled pickup, sports car, family van, or Amish buggy – he always waves.  Gender, age, skin-color, occupation, or social status doesn’t matter to him either.  Davy will wave to all.  If the person he happens to be passing isn’t in a vehicle, he’ll be sure to add a spoken “Hi” to his wave.

While it is true that we now live in a smaller town in the rural Midwest, and that people in general are friendly and often waving … even to strangers, David takes it to a higher level.  He will not be deterred; he WILL wave to you.  Doesn’t matter how he feels or where he is.  Doesn’t matter how you look or what you are doing or whether you wish to be greeted.  Dave will wave to you.

This past summer when our entire family was at the park at the end of our street, David spotted some children’s shoes by the playground.  He made a point to ask us about them; he didn’t want us to forget them if they belonged to the children in our group.

Indiscriminately kind.

If only more people could be that way! 

It seems to me that more and more we are seeing less and less kindness in our society.  Patience is becoming rarer; rudeness more common.  Selfishness tends to predominate; thoughtfulness for others languishes.  Aggressiveness is exalted; humility despised.  Grudges are nursed; forgiveness refused.

Furthermore, it seems that though “tolerance” is promoted, the promoters themselves are in many ways less tolerant of different points of view.  “My way or the highway” is largely embraced.  And if one doesn’t see it the same way as another, verbal attacks are sure to occur.  (If you doubt this, consider the current political climate!  The same, sadly, is true of our nation’s moral climate.)

Imagine how drastically different things would be if everyone was indiscriminately kind!  That’s what our Lord urges us to be. 

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:12-14).

Of course, these words were written to believers, and they remind us of God’s love, kindness, and the forgiveness won for us by Jesus.  We’ve been trained by the Lord; He is our example!  And he’s the one we honor when we are kind.

But as the numbers of those who don’t know the Lord continue to increase, so will kindness continue to decrease.  Fewer recognize ultimate love and true kindness learned only through a relationship with Love personified. 

Which means it becomes increasingly important that you and I reflect the love of God in our dealings … not only with fellow Christians, but with everyone.  Even to those who are unkind to us.  Even to those who hate us.  Even to our enemies!  (Matthew 5:43-48, Romans 12:14-21).

Our Savior described us this way: “You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

You and I … we are the only lights that this dark (and growing darker) world will see.  The Lord’s light shines in us and through us.  We are bearers of God’s glorious and glowing Gospel.  So, fellow lights, let us shine brightly! 

It begins by being indiscriminately kind.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Galatians 5
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Romans 12
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 

10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 5
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

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But for the Grace of God Go I

But for the Grace of God Go I

Due to the location of our church near down-town Tacoma, the congregation finds itself dealing with homeless folks and the issues they bring fairly regularly.  And there are definitely issues – many of which aren’t positive.  But not all of them are negative either.

It is not my intention with this post to mount my high horse and take a stand one way or the other on homelessness, or push a personal opinion or agenda on the matter.  Rather, I simply wish to make a few (hopefully helpful!) points to perhaps foster some healthy introspection.

I’ve had multiple conversations with folks living on the streets – usually after they have slipped into the church during a worship service or other activity.  This is one of the blessings of being in an area where the homeless inhabit.  Different congregational members and I have had many opportunities to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with folks struggling on the street, and to reflect Jesus’ love to them … many of whom don’t experience much wholesome love in their day-to-day situations.

Here’s my first observation: one cannot lump every homeless person into a generic category.  They are not all drug addicts or alcoholics.  They are not all mentally unstable.  They are not all choosing that lifestyle.  They are not all uneducated.  They are not all inconsiderate litterers.  They are not all criminals.  They are not all unbelievers.   

And they are certainly not all worthless.  (The Lord Jesus loves each one of them and died for them!  There is no higher value possible than that!)

Each individual is an individual with their own individual story. 

While transporting a soaking-wet woman to a safe place … a woman who walked in the church doors after the Christmas Day service, I asked her how she got in this situation.  She replied, “It’s a long story with many reasons, but it started with the death of my daughter.”  She also made the comment, “I wish more people asked that question instead of assuming the worst.”  Then she returned to singing along with the Christian Christmas songs playing on the radio.  She said, “I wish I would have gotten to church in time for worship this morning; I love the message of Christmas.”

The man who stepped into the Sanctuary this past Wednesday after worship had a different story.  After buying him a hot Pho meal (his choice!), he confided that he had to leave his home because of his abusive uncle.  When I asked if it was worse than living on the street, and could he go back there, he responded that if he did, his uncle would probably throw his mother out on the street.  He couldn’t live with himself if that happened.

While most who pop in end up asking for help of some kind (usually money), it is not at all uncommon for some to simply stay for worship.  The logical assumption might be that they are there because it’s a warm, dry place.  And that’s true for some, but others clearly relish the opportunity to hear God’s Word.  A gentleman who joined us recently actively participated in the service, and then afterwards asked me some theological questions that showed a clear mind and keen grasp of the Scriptures.  He never asked me for anything else.  He only wanted the Word.

While there is no doubt that many living in tent-cities are there because of significant personal issues, and a good share of them really do choose to live that way, there is also no doubt that there are some who do not.  They simply fell into it somehow, and desperately desire to crawl back out of it. 

The unfortunate reality, however, is that once one “gets down on their luck,” their “luck” is exceedingly slow to change.  Once dirty, disheveled and smelly, it’s pretty difficult to catch breaks … no matter how hard one may try.  The homeless shelters try to help, (God bless them!), but they have shortcomings as well. 

Between bites and gulps of his Vietnamese soup the other night, the homeless man in my truck confided that he had totally taken for granted the simple luxuries of life.  A hot meal.  A bed to sleep in.  A roof over his head.  A shower.  Comfort.  Safety.  He said he desperately wanted those things back, and if God gave them to him, he would never take them for granted again.

It is always sobering to have a heart-to-heart with someone on the street.  When it happens, I always find myself wishing I could do more for them, and I’m always astounded at the gratitude most have for the little I do.  It’s also impossible to fail to recognize how blessed I am … no matter my personal trials.  Furthermore, it’s impressed upon me that if a few things had gone differently in my life, I could be out on the street myself.  The same is true for you.

Which puts a whole different perspective on the matter.

But for the grace of God go I.  But for the grace of God go you. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lamentations 3:21-25
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

James 1:17-18
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Psalm 146:1-2, 5-6
Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, my soul. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. … Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them — he remains faithful forever.

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Engage! Please Engage!

Engage! Please Engage!

The purpose of this post is not to discuss the physical impacts of COVID.  Those are well documented and can be found in a plethora of places.  Rather, I would like to address something that isn’t getting as much attention, but which undoubtedly affects more people than the actual virus does: the psychological impact of the pandemic.

I know a few who have been physically impacted by the virus itself; I know many who have been psychologically impacted by it.  And I’m not even sure if most of them realize it.  Or at least realize how significantly they have been psychologically impacted.

As I have ministered to the people in our congregation, it has become increasingly obvious that many were approaching life differently the past nine months.  Now obviously life has been drastically different, so of course people are approaching life differently!  But that’s not what I mean.

Rather, I am referring to how people seem to be thinking and interacting.  Or more to the point, not interacting.

As time went on, folks seemed to become more insular.  It became more and more challenging to get people involved in ministry.  And not just to participate, but even to respond to simple requests!  Even responses they could supply quickly and easily from the comfort and convenience of their homes!  Things that in the past would be simply accomplished within the congregation had suddenly become daunting to get done. 

Volunteers have been asking me, “Why can’t I get more people to reply?”  And I have answered, “I have experienced the same thing.  Unfortunately, that’s just how it is right now.”  This dilemma is not unique to our congregation; my brothers in the ministry around the region are experiencing the same challenges in their congregations!  And I am sure that it is not just congregations and ministry which are impacted!

Now I am not naïve.  I recognize the tremendous pressure the pandemic brought to people and homes.  In fact, our homes have become the office, the classroom, the bank, the store, the restaurant, the entertainment facility and even the church for many or most.  Our entire society was overturned and our lives flipped upside down.  People are busy adapting and busy in general, and they are stressed and exhausted from it all.

Still, from my observations, it seems that many or even most have adopted a “bunker mentality.”  They are hunkering down at home and peeking out every now and then to see if things are any better. 

I want to be clear: I am not criticizing anyone for taking this approach!  While this is not normal nor healthy psychologically in typical circumstances, this is actually quite normal for situations such as currently exist.  However, it’s still not healthy.

My goal is simply to call attention to this psychological reaction, make the unaware aware, and suggest some simple steps that might benefit each of us, our families, and our congregations.

Studies show that isolation impacts us.  Being mostly alone affects us psychologically. 

“… People who are quarantined are very likely to develop a wide range of symptoms of psychological stress and disorder, including low mood, insomnia, stress, anxiety, anger, irritability, emotional exhaustion, depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms.  Low mood and irritability specifically stand out as being very common, the study notes.  (“Lockdown Is World’s Biggest Psychological Experiment,” World Economic Forum – weforum.org)

Furthermore, “prolonged lack of social connection alters the brain and makes humans more antisocial. …  ‘There are a lot of people who, when they are socially isolated, find it harder to reach out to people than they normally would,’ says Chris Michel, a psychiatrist in California with over forty years of experience working in the field.  The brain structures that facilitate the creation of social connections shrink during perceived social isolation. These alterations make it even harder to form bonds.”  (“What Isolation Does to the Brain,” Think Global Health – thinkglobalhealth.org). 

And if that isn’t enough, here’s another nasty psychological twist to isolation: “Chronic isolation … [leads] to a persistent fear-response and greater aggression.  … A team at the University of Pisa in Italy discovered that socially isolated subjects show signs of hyper-vigilance and diminished impulse control.  In a pandemic scenario, these changes may result in “intense anger towards people …” (“What Isolation Does to the Brain,” Think Global Health – thinkglobalhealth.org).  Events from this past Summer and this past week certainly seem to support this finding!

The Mayo Clinic shared an excellent article on how COVID is impacting people’s mental health.  After pointing out the effects of social isolation, the staff makes some specific suggestions for maintaining good mental and emotional health. 

It actually begins with caring for one’s body.  The self-care strategies they offer for better body health are getting enough sleep, participating in regular physical activity, eating healthy, avoiding tobacco, alcohol and drugs, limiting screen time, and relaxing and recharging.

As for mental health, they urge keeping a regular routine, limiting exposure to the news media, staying busy, focusing on positive thoughts, falling back on one’s spiritual beliefs for support, and setting proper priorities and reasonable goals … and then celebrating reaching them.

All of which seem exceedingly practical!  But here is the part of the article I found most interesting and important!  The third aspect the Mayo medical staff discussed was to, “build, support and strengthen relationships.”  They supplied specifics here as well:

“Make connections.  If you need to stay at home and distance yourself from others, avoid social isolation.  Find time each day to make virtual connections by email, texts, phone, or FaceTime or similar apps.  If you’re working remotely from home, ask your co-workers how they’re doing and share coping tips.  Enjoy virtual socializing and talking to those in your home.”

“Do something for others.  Find purpose in helping the people around you. For example, email, text or call to check on your friends, family members and neighbors — especially those who are elderly. If you know someone who can’t get out, ask if there’s something needed, such as groceries or a prescription picked up, for instance” (“COVID 19 and Your Mental Health,” Mayo Clinic – mayoclinic.org).

In other words … engage!  Engage in an active and wholesome way.  Turn your attention off yourself and onto other people.  Communicate.  Reach out and brighten someone’s day.  Be involved.  Decide to climb out of your bunker and make a difference. 

The Apostle Paul advocates for these very things!  “We urge you, brothers and sisters, … encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. … Always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.  Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:14-18).

Leaving one’s bunker doesn’t necessarily mean leaving one’s home.  But it does mean leaving behind a bunker mentality!  So, God’s people, I urge you to engage!  Please, engage!

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A Simple Approach to All Situations

A Simple Approach to All Situations

As I watched the news feeds on the Washington DC rioting, and as I thought back on the Summer protests, it occurred to me that I as a Christian and a pastor should address the attitudes and activities we have witnessed.  Recognizing these should be addressed was the easy part.  Determining what to say was much harder!

Of course, God’s Word is chock full of insights and applications to all circumstances, and certainly to these situations as well.  But it seems to me that the last thing people want right now is a long dissertation.  So I decided to keep it simple. 

God always says it best.  So here is a simple approach for all situations, provided by the Lord Himself in his Holy Book:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” 

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.”

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:12-17).

There it is; a simple approach straight from God that will make all situations better. 

I realize that these words were written to Christians, and that Christ is at the center of these attitudes and approaches.  Non-Christians don’t and won’t approach life this way.  Which only underscores how critically important it is that we share the message of Jesus with as many as we possibly can!

My prayer is that all of us as Christians always exemplify this approach, and that more people (many more people!) learn to know Christ, and thereby learn to live Him.  When that happens, the people of our nation, and subsequently our nation, will be the better for it!

How to Interact on This Blog

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Under Cover

Under Cover

The other day I was walking through the grocery store and I was struck by the fact that everyone was wearing a mask.  The lower half of the faces of the clerks, the stockers and the customers were all covered.  (Even more unsettling was to see a man in a store today with his entire face covered with a black mask.)

Not sure how things are where you live, but out here in Washington wearing a mask is a State mandate, so it’s not surprising that everyone is “masked up.”  In fact, one would expect this to be the case, and it generally is in Tacoma; full compliance is typical here. 

Each person models the mask of their choosing.  There’s plenty of the generic disposable ones on display.  Seahawks masks are pretty popular locally as well.  And, of course, some ladies ensure their mask is color-coordinated with their attire.  There is plenty of variety in the mask styles, but almost everyone wears something.

And that’s what struck me the other day!  Just like we all wear an outward mask to public places, so we all wear an inward mask in public as well.  (And not just in a pandemic.)  In fact, we probably wear multiple inward masks!  Our outward masks hide half our faces, and our inward masks conceal quite a bit as well.

These inner masks are even described in an expression.  No matter what we are thinking or how we are feeling, we generally attempt to “put on a good face.”  We are the ultimate posturers.  Just think of the secret masks we wear to fool others! 

We may have our entire day turned catawampus by unforeseen circumstances, but we try to exude an aura of peace amidst our stress.  We may be frustrated beyond measure due to someone else’s discourtesy or incompetence, but we put on a mask of patience.  Perhaps we regard another person’s point of view or decisions as questionable, unwise or even downright ridiculous, but we wear a mask of acceptance nonetheless.

Keeping others from discerning our actual thoughts aren’t the only reason we wear inner masks.  We make great efforts to hide our real feelings as well.

In our anger we try to wear calm.  In our worry we strive to wear contentment.  In our uncertainty we mask up with confidence, and when we feel weak with strength.  In our loneliness, sadness or discouragement, we rally with a smile.  Even in jubilant times it’s not uncommon for us to appear dispassionate.  When proud we want to be seen as humble.

In short, we consistently cover over our thoughts and feelings with masks that disguise where we truly “are” mentally and emotionally with ones that look more like where we think we should be.

We even posture in regard to spiritual matters.  We may be struggling spiritually in any number of ways, but we don’t dare let on.  We are determined to look faith-filled and forgiven no matter our secret doubts; righteous no matter our struggles with sin; and devoted no matter our wandering minds and hearts.

Yes, under our outer masks are any number of inner ones.  In fact, these days we are often wearing multiple layers – outer, inner, and under the outmost-inner mask even more inner ones.  We lurk amidst shadows even when in broad daylight! 

As I reflect on this, it seems to me that a few important points bear mentioning:

First of all, each one of us must understand how deceptive we tend to be with our inner mask-wearing.  It is crucial we are honest with ourselves, and strive to be more transparent with others.  And especially if we are struggling in some regard!

Secondly, building a relationship with someone (or several someones) with whom we can confide is exceedingly beneficial.  Natural fits for this would be a spouse or family member, or a trusted Christian friend.

Finally, remember that the Lord sees straight through our masks, no matter how many we may wear.  He not only sees the “real” us, but he loves the “real” us!  And he has all the help, answers and hope that the “real” us needs in his Word.  The more time we invest in God’s Word, the more the Lord will change us.  And the more the Lord refashions us, the more our inner self will exude the attitudes we desire to show on the outside, and the less need we will feel for masking up.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another … Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts … And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly, … sing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him”  (Colossians 3:12-17 – selected).

A Simple Smile

A Simple Smile

This world needs more smiles.  For that matter, the people in your world need more smiles!  In fact, I would be glad to be on the receiving end of a few more smiles myself.

It seems that smiles are becoming a bit rarer these days.  Of course, our masks cover our mouths, so that certainly contributes to the issue.  Perhaps that plays a larger role even than we think?  Not that people can’t see our smiles, but that we aren’t smiling more.

We’ve been struggling through this pandemic.  We have even more personal frustrations and challenges than usual.  We’re tired of wearing masks.  We’re weary of reclusing in our houses for so many activities we would normally go out for.  We’re so ready for this all to be over.  And on top of these virus-related issues, there’s all the other troubling “situations” in our society and our world. 

Consequently, we probably don’t feel like smiling as often as before.  But as someone once said, “You haven’t lost your smile at all.  It’s right under your nose.  You just forgot it was there!”

Putting on a smile is perhaps the most important thing we don in the morning, and the most important thing we wear.  Yet, it’s often the accoutrement that doesn’t make our attire for the day.  Or at least not as often as it could or should.  To which Jim Beggs states, “Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” 

A simple and sincere smile costs a person nothing to give, but pours a wealth of treasure into another person’s day.  The person who provides it is none-the-poorer, while the person who receives that gift is certainly richer.

Even if you have to smile under your mask … smile!  The rest of your face will pass the gesture along.  And think of all the family members around whom you don’t wear a mask.  (You know, those most important people in your world!)  That smile you grace them with in the moment will almost certainly contribute to a brighter, better day for them.  A smile is the key that fits the lock on everyone’s heart.

To this end, here are some key concepts for us to bear in mind as we work our way through our days, even in a pandemic; things that will help us smile more readily.

The first key is that we focus on our blessings and not our hardships.  We may have many difficulties, but we have even more blessings from our God.  No matter what struggles we are enduring, Jesus is still risen, we are still forgiven, we are still loved by God, and we are still saved by God’s grace.

Key number two is that we realize we have a gift we can give.  A simple loving smile is simply precious to whomever it is aimed at.

The third key is to recognize that maybe, just maybe, our smile and our kindness might be a silent testimony to other Christians who are down and don’t really feel like smiling.  They realize we are still rejoicing in our Lord, no matter the circumstances.  Smiling is contagious; maybe our smile will spark a smile on their face.

In addition, our smile might possibly be something that moves an unbeliever to find out what makes us tick.  Why can we smile when so much of life seems to stink?  Perhaps it opens the door to an opportunity to testify about the Savior?

Finally, smiles show love.  Jesus said, “Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another”  (John 13:34-35).

The Lord underscores this concept in the book of Ephesians:  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger … Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”  (Ephesians 4:31-22).

Simply showing and sharing a smile is generally a simple thing to do, but it’s not simple to the one who sees it; that smile is significant!  So smile, and brighten someone’s day.  And probably, in the process, your day too!

Really?!?

Really?!?

I’m generally a fairly easy-going guy.  I’m usually pleasant to chat with.  I’m interested in listening and learning more about many things from people.  I try to be thoughtful in what I do or say.  I recognize that there are different strokes for different folks and am typically accepting of different points of view. And I wear a mask in public places and maintain an acceptable distance from others.  (Who would have thought that those last points would one day top the list of proper social etiquette practices?)

But I admit that there are some things that irritate me.  I’m a bit of a growly bear at times.

For example, if I could add an eleventh commandment to the Lord’s list, it would be … “You shall not litter!”  Not ever.  Not for any reason.  If a person can manage to carry the full, heavier package/wrapper/can/bottle to wherever they are when they use it, then there should be no reason why they can’t transport the emptier, lighter version with them until it can be properly disposed.

And please, I have absolutely no desire to see anyone’s underwear.  It’s called “underwear” because it is supposed to be under whatever else a person is wearing!  In my book, deliberately displaying one’s underpants is a rather distasteful fashion statement.

In the same way, intentionally blaring one’s music for everyone within a quarter mile to hear strikes me as incredibly rude.  (No matter what type of music it may be!)  And I’ll double down on that whenever the music is thumping from a car parked at a convenience store or at a gas pump in the gas station. 

Nor can I comprehend why anyone would embark on a beautiful nature hike miles from any city and then fill the forest air with the clamor of tunes from some modern technological device.  Isn’t one of the primary reasons for venturing into the wild to immerse one’s self into the stillness of nature, punctuated only with birdsong and the natural sounds of God’s creation?

I haven’t even mentioned conversing loudly on a cell phone in a restaurant or in the check-out line.  Or recklessly weaving through freeway traffic at a high rate of speed.  Or someone trying to finish my sentences for me.

When I observe these behaviors, one word flashes through my mind … and possibly even across my lips.  “Really?!?”

I know.  I know.  It’s clear I’m an old curmudgeon.  And the older I get, the more curmudgeonly I become.  However, I’m guessing that at least some of the behaviors I mentioned bother you too.  And I’m sure you have other irritants that weren’t mentioned. 

Here’s the thing that I try to remember when I’m frustrated at a behavior that strikes me as rude.  Difficult as it is to imagine, there are things that I do that irritate others and strike them as rude too.  (I can’t for the life of me think of what my failings might be, but I’m sure my family members or even others who know me, if they thought really long and hard, might be able to list off a few.)  The hard truth is that there are things that you do that rub people the wrong way as well. 

In fact, Jesus himself frustrated others.  The Bible shows clearly that he upset any number of people in his earthly ministry.  But do you doubt that even as he was growing up, he irritated a few folks?  There must have been times when his earthly parents were exasperated with him … even before and after the twelve-year old Jesus remained behind in the temple debating with the theologians.  Surely his siblings didn’t always appreciate their half-brother’s perfection as they were growing up together.

If even holy Jesus irritated others, then how can any of us expect to slide through life without ruffling a few feathers?  Sometimes we might upset because we are doing the right thing; other times because we aren’t being very thoughtful; still others where we frustrate because we are simply different than someone else.

All of which is why the Holy Spirit urges us in the Scriptures to prioritize love in our viewing of and dealing with one another.  The Bible is full of these encouragements.  Here is one of my favorites:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”  (Colossians 3:12-15).

Really?!?  Yes, really!  With God’s assistance, God expects us to live a life of love … reflecting to others the undeserved love he has shown us.

So Easily Done! So Hard to Undo.

So Easily Done! So Hard to Undo.

Benjamin Franklin once wrote, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.” 

If only we weren’t that kind of fool.  But we all slide down that slippery slope of criticism too easily and too often.  And sadly, the people we criticize the most are almost certainly the ones we love the most.

The English Language Learners definition of criticism is excellent.  It states criticism is “the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing.” 

It’s been said that, “When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”  Sadly, there is a lot of truth to that statement.  We’ve all been criticized, so we all criticize.  It’s a learned behavior that is especially appealing to our sinful natures.

All of us become critical sometimes, but some of us gravitate to it more frequently.  Sadly, those who frequently “express disapproval” will argue that they are simply offering loving and constructive criticism to others.  But most misunderstand the concept.  Instead of “constructive,” their words and tones are typically destructive.

Criticism is destructive to relationships when it is about personality or character rather than behavior, when the words are blame-filled, not focused on improvement, when they imply there is only one “right way” to do something, and when they are belittling.  (Dr. Steven Stosney, “What’s Wrong with Criticism.”)

A bit later in the article, Dr. Stosney writes, “At no time … does an obvious fact occur to critical people: Criticism is an utter failure at getting positive behavior change. Any short-term gain you might get from it builds resentment down the line.”

Let me share a few other nuggets from Dr. Stosney’s article:

“You’re likely to be the last to know whether you’re a critical person. … If someone says you’re critical, you probably are.  But there’s a better way to tell: Think of what you automatically say or think to yourself if you drop something or make a mistake.  Critical people will typically think, Oh you idiot, or curse or sigh in disgust.  If you do that to yourself, you most likely do it to others.”

I’m guessing the words in that last paragraph indict a lot of us. 

It is so very easy to run others down, to dismantle their self-esteem bit-by-bit with “well-intentioned” expressions of disapproval.  Once criticism is leveled, it can’t be taken back, and all that remains is the damage that the criticism produces.  It really does take multiple kind words to try to temper the destruction of unkind ones, and ultimately the kind words never undo the unkind.

Yes, some can use the criticisms of others to motivate themselves to excel.  But the vast majority of people wither under negative comments.  To prosper, most need encouragement.  That is, they need true encouragement … not negative-based “encouragement” to change, but kind, uplifting, invigorating, positive and pure words of encouragement.

Dr. Stosney contrasts criticism with “feedback.”  Criticism focuses on what’s wrong; feedback focuses on how to improve.  Criticism implies the worst; feedback is about behavior.  Criticism devalues; feedback encourages.  Criticism implies blame; feedback looks to the future and how things can be better.  Criticism attempts to control; feedback respects autonomy.  Criticism is coercive while feedback is not.

To further complicate this matter, yet another crucial factor in effectively encouraging others goes beyond just positive words.  Our tone as we talk is critical as well.

Daniel Goleman, the writer of a book on relationships, explains.  “The way leaders use positivity when communicating with employees can make a huge impact on their emotional well-being and their performance.  I was really surprised how big the impact of these interactions can be. … In one experiment, the emotional tone of a leader delivering news to an employee made more impact than the news itself.  When negative feedback was delivered with a warm tone, the employees usually rated the interaction positively.  On the other hand, good news, such as achieving a goal, delivered with a negative tone would leave employees feeling bad.”

Yikes!  We really do need to weigh our words, rein in our emotions, and consider our tone before speaking to others.

Charles Schwab summarized the concept in this way:  “I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.”

Here’s what an even more respected and reliable source states:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. … And we urge you, brothers and sisters … encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14-15).

Oh, that our gracious God would work in us so that encouragement of others becomes easier and more natural than criticism!  Clearly the Lord wants us to be people who build others up instead of tearing them down.