Goodbye to Goodbyes
This is a post I shared two years ago after visiting family in Michigan. I just returned from a similar visit, and the sentiments expressed here seemed exceedingly poignant … at least to me. But as always, I pray they bring some insight and encouragement to you.
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I hate goodbyes. But then almost everyone does, don’t they? Goodbyes to loved ones are rarely “good byes.” In those situations, the word is the ultimate oxymoron.
This is a fresh and sensitive topic with me. Recently I found myself saying goodbye to a number of family members.
We had traveled back to Michigan to be with loved ones, and the good Lord allowed us to see many! We spent time with both my parents and my wife’s parents. We were able to visit with some of our siblings, their spouses and some of their children – our nephews and nieces. In fact, the members of our entire immediate family (parents, children and grandchildren) were gathered together in one place for almost a week!
(Because of various circumstances, many of these precious visits occur just once a year.)
Naturally, this led to multiple and heartfelt hellos. Every day of our vacation brought joyful greetings of one kind or another; warm hellos springing from the shared bond of faith and family. Hellos that reflect blood ties and past experiences, and which anticipate the wonderful things that the coming moments together will bring.
I love hellos. Especially hellos to those people embedded deep in my heart. But every hello in this world ultimately leads to a goodbye, doesn’t it?
Of course, there are a multitude of things to which we sooner or later bid adieu. Houses, cars, places, experiences, jobs, schools … even previous health and appearance … can all merit “farewells” as we meander on through life. And then there are those gut-wrenching goodbyes to our pets. Make no mistake, some of these goodbyes can foster high emotion.
But the worst goodbyes of all are the goodbyes to people we love.
Why are goodbyes to loved ones so difficult? Well, we thoroughly enjoy our time together. Consequently, goodbye means a pause in those joyful moments, and often bounces us back to the reality of our other responsibilities and less enjoyable activities.
However, that’s not the fundamental reason we hate goodbyes. The real reason is very simple; we abhor goodbyes because we don’t know if we will be together again in this world. The uncertainties of our earthly existence are ever-present in our awareness, and we all recognize that sooner or later there won’t be another hello.
This inescapable fact rocks us. It makes farewells to loved ones we rarely see agonizing. But it even lurks in our consciousness with our day-to-day goodbyes … as much as we try not to think about it. One can’t live a few years in this uncertain world without recognizing the uncertainty inherent in goodbyes.
My purpose in writing about goodbyes is not to bring anyone down. Rather I want to underscore a few key points that I have fallen back on as I negotiate painful farewells.
Here’s the first one: The fact that a person has agonizing goodbyes means that God has blessed them richly with dearly-loved family and friends. Every close relationship in our life is a precious gift. Each difficult goodbye we must endure simply emphasizes how profoundly blessed by God we are.
The second significant aspect of painful earthly goodbyes is that they encourage us to eagerly anticipate the day when there will never be any more goodbyes, but only hellos forever and ever. This is such a foreign concept to us earthlings that we can barely consider it or comprehend it.
But the day when God ushers us into heaven marks the end of experiencing goodbyes and the beginning of an eternity of hearing only hellos! “Hello” to the Lord himself and Jesus our Savior. “Hello” to the multitude of angels. “Hello” to the great men and women of faith from the Bible and history. “Hello” to our ancestors who lived and died in Jesus. “Hello” to our family and friends who preceded us to heaven. And “hello” to every family member and friend who follow us there! Never again will we say “goodbye.” Only “hello” over and over again forever and ever.
The Apostle John was given a glimpse of this wonderful heavenly home where goodbyes are gone and hellos predominate.
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain [or goodbyes], for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:3-5)
A goodbye to goodbyes. Now that really will be a “good bye!”
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