What Am I Doing, Lord?
You’ve been there. Somehow you find yourself in a situation where you literally don’t know what to do or what’s going to happen next. Generally these times are fraught with uncertainty, anxiety, and abundant and heartfelt prayer.
In our church body, every new pastor and teacher experiences just such a time. Of course, they experience many times of great uncertainty during the course of their ministries. But they also experience such a time before they even begin their ministry.
It’s referred to as “Call Day,” and the uncertainty of that day is acute. There are actually separate Call Days for teacher and pastor candidates, but both events work essentially the same. On their respective Call Days, future servants of the church enter a worship service with no idea where in the world (literally!) they will be starting their ministries. During the course of the service, however, they find out.
I’m not aware of anything quite like it. Perhaps the closest example would be the NFL draft. The top prospects know exactly where and when the draft will happen, but most have absolutely no clue which team will select them. Their immediate and potentially long-term future depends on the announcements that are made from the podium, and until they are drafted, they are awash in uncertainty.
Just as great research is carried out by teams before an NFL player is drafted, so a lot of prayer, consideration and discussion occurs among church-body leaders before a teacher or pastor candidate is slotted for a school or church. What talents does the church or school need? What gifts do the candidates have? Are there any extenuating circumstances?
I’m over-simplifying the process, of course. But the end result is that every future pastor and teacher is assigned to a church or school. However, those future workers don’t know where that assignment is … until it is announced in the Call Day worship service.
They, and their spouses and children, and their parents and extended families, enter the worship area on that momentous day completely unaware of what the next hour holds for them. “What am I doing, Lord?” is prominent on their minds as they squirm in their seats and attempt to concentrate on worshiping the Lord.
Is there uncertainty? Definitely!
Anxiety? Undoubtedly!
Abundant and heartfelt prayer? Yes, in abundance!
But also excitement and eagerness. It has been a long, challenging road to that day, that service, and that announcement! And these are men and women of God who are dedicating their lives to serving God and God’s people. They have absolute confidence that the Lord is going to work through the process to settle them into the exact church or school where He wants them to be.
I have experienced Call Days on many levels. I sat through the service that relocated my wife, my oldest son and myself from the State of Michigan to the State of Washington. Many years later I listened intently at Call Days for my two oldest sons. Ironically, their calls moved one son from Washington to Wisconsin and another son to Michigan. And I was at the service where my new associate pastor was announced, which moved him from Wisconsin to Washington. And just a few days ago I viewed online as my nephew received his pastor call to Wisconsin. His move will be shorter, from Michigan to Wisconsin.
The uncertainty, anxiety, excitement, and abundant and heartfelt prayers are always present leading into those services. But afterwards, there is awe; awe at what God has done, is doing, and will do. Finally, it could all be summarized in the word “trust.” The future pastors and teachers of God’s Church trust that the Lord of the Church will insert them in the right place at the right time. Which results in the sincere prayer lifted to the Lord afterwards, “OK. Now I know what I am doing, Lord.”
There’s nothing else quite like a Call Day in our church body. The uncertainty going in; the answer coming out.
As I reflected on this entire process this week, it occurred to me that every single one of us has our own “Call Days,” whether we are pastors, teachers, or anyone. We all have those days where we haven’t a clue about what we should be doing. We’re on a path and we’re uncertain it is the correct path; we can’t see the destination. We’re at a crossroad in life and we wonder which way to go. Or we can’t begin to discern the answer and we wish we were so fortunate as to have a few obvious choices.
“What am I doing, Lord?”
And just as the future pastors, teachers and families do on Call Days, we have but one course of action. We pray, and then we trust. The Lord of the Church is also the Lord of our life. He always knows what he is doing. He always has the answers. He never makes mistakes. He loves us beyond our comprehension and will show us, nudge us, guide us, or even carry us to where he wants us to go. Sooner or later, our Good Shepherd will make our path clear and settle us into green pastures. Then in a quiet moment he whispers to us, “This is what you are doing, dear one.”
The Lord’s words to Joshua as he took over the leadership of Israel from Moses must have been extremely comforting to Joshua. They are also wonderful and comforting words when we wonder what to do. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).
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